Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.

The bat thought I was giving him the kiss of life!

Society is now one polished horde, Formed of two mighty tribes, The Bores and the Bored.

You’ll miss the best things if you keep your eyes shut.

I recommend that the Statue of Liberty be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast.

A good goal is like a strenuous exercise - it makes you stretch.

The difficulty is to try and teach the multitude that something can be true and untrue at the same time.

An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.

Central banks don't have divine wisdom. They try to do the best analysis they can and must be prepared to stand or fall by the quality of that analysis.

The English contribution to world cuisine - the chip.

The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.

You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.

The people I distrust most are those who want to improve our lives but have only one course of action.

Our greatest foes - and whom we must chiefly combat - are within.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

As long as we believe in absurdities we shall continue to commit atrocities.

Tradition becomes our security, and when the mind is secure it is in decay.

Blessed are the cracked, for they shall let in the light.

Religion is like a knife: you can either use it to cut bread, or stick in someone's back.

All of us have moments in our lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them.

Advice to intellectuals: let no-one represent you.