It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.

A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

If a woman tells you she's twenty and looks sixteen, she's twelve. If she tells you she's twenty-six and looks twenty-six, she's damn near fourty.

There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.