Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.