There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments.
He could not see a belt without hitting below it.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Cut my pie into four pieces, I dont think I could eat eight.
I have nothing to declare except my genius.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I will not join any club who will take me as a member
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.