Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.