A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
I drink to make other people more interesting.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!