If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
When you're thirty you're old enough to know better, but still young enough to go ahead and do it.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.