He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
Never put off until tomorrow what you can do the day after tomorrow.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
Those are my principles, and if you don't like them...well I have others.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?
I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!
No good deed goes unpunished.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.