Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.

Of puns it has been said that those who most dislike them are those who are least able to utter them.

A friend doesn't go on a diet because you are fat.

The gift of words is the gift of deception and illusion.

Never lend your car to someone you've given birth to.

Delay always breeds danger. To protract a great design is often to ruin it.

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.

We must not always talk in the market-place of what happens to us in the forest.

It is a process of diverting one's scattered forces into one powerful channel.

When I had nothing to lose, I had everything. When I stopped being who I am, I found myself.

Humility is attentive patience.

But there is only one thing which gathers people into seditious commotion, and that is oppression

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

Comedy is acting out optimism.

I must not write a word to you about politics, because you are a woman.

There is only one way... to get anybody to do anything. And that is by making the other person want to do it.

I am not now That which I have been.

I want to go ahead of Father Time with a scythe of my own.

You are like my little dog; when people see you, they know I am nearby.

Passion goes, Boredom remains.