A writer needs a pen, an artist needs a brush, but a filmmaker needs an army.

Everybody's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another beer.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.

All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.

My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

I have a perfect cure for a sore throat: cut it.

I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.

I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.

I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb... and I also know that I'm not blonde.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.