The advantage of a bad memory is that one enjoys several times the same good thing for the first time.

The true test of a man's character is what he does when no one is watching.

I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could.

It is not fair to ask of others what you are not willing to do yourself.

Reality is wrong. Dreams are for real.

Forewarned, forearmed. To be prepared is half the victory.

I must not write a word to you about politics, because you are a woman.

I have no idea. People who boast about their IQ are losers.

Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.

I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.

Tell me thy company, and I shall tell thee what thou art.

They have formed their own 4-H club - the hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.

Common sense is the most widely shared commodity in the world, for every man is convinced that he is well supplied with it.

Do it again on the next verse, and people think you meant it.

Science is not only compatible with spirituality; it is a profound source of spirituality.

I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.

I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something; and because I cannot do everything, I will not refuse to do something that I can do.

My specialty is detached malevolence.

Until we're educating every kid in a fantastic way, until every inner city is cleaned up, there is no shortage of things to do.

When you do things from your soul, you feel a river moving in you, a joy.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.