Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
He looks as though he's been weaned on a pickle.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.