Everyone is born a genius, but the process of living de-geniuses them.

When it is not in our power to determine what is true, we ought to follow what is most probable.

The word 'good' has many meanings. For example, if a man were to shoot his grandmother at a range of five hundred yards, I should call him a good shot, but not necessarily a good man.

Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing is going to get better. It's not.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

I want to put a ding in the universe.

They have formed their own 4-H club - the hopeless, hysterical hypochondriacs of history.

The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is, at bottom, no design, no purpose, no evil and no good, nothing but blind pitiless indifference.

Work is the rent you pay for the room you occupy on earth.

Don't take the wrong side of an argument just because your opponent has taken the right side.

What's with you men? Would hair stop growing on your chest if you asked directions somewhere?

There is more to sex appeal than just measurements. I don't need a bedroom to prove my womanliness. I can convey just as much sex appeal, picking apples off a tree or standing in the rain.

I would define, in brief, the poetry of words as the rhythmical creation of Beauty.

The bat thought I was giving him the kiss of life!

There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.

An original idea. That can't be too hard. The library must be full of them.

The thing I lose patience with the most is the clock. Its hands move too fast

Some newspapers are fit only to line the bottom of bird cages.

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

Anybody who watches three games of football in a row should be declared brain dead.

The good times of today are the sad thoughts of tomorrow.