He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.

Humor is the most engaging cowardice.

You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

When you're drowning you don't think, 'I would be incredibly pleased if someone would notice I'm drowning and come and rescue me.' You just scream.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?

I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.

If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.