I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.

I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.

Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.

Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.

Our great democracies still tend to think that a stupid man is more likely to be honest than a clever man.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

He could not see a belt without hitting below it.

The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.

Cynicism is humour in ill health.

Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Men are as faithful as their options.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

I've been on a calendar, but never on time.

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Nothing is permanent in this wicked world, not even our troubles.

I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.