Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
You cannot win in a fight against women, cause men have a need to make sense.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.