I went to a restaurant that serves 'breakfast at any time' so I ordered French toast during the Renaissance.

I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

Don't look at me in that tone of voice.

Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.

Women are made to be loved not understood.

I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.

Ask not what you can do for your country. Ask whats for lunch.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Always go to other people's funerals, otherwise they won't come to yours.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?