The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
I do this real moron thing, it's called thinking, and I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.