My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

Bart, with $10,000, we'd be millionaires! We could buy all kinds of useful things like...love!

Never travel faster than your guardian angel can fly.

You can tell a lot about a fellow's character by his way of eating jellybeans.

What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.

I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.

We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

You know, boys, a nuclear reactor is a lot like a woman. You just have to read the manual and press the right buttons.

A dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.

Getting out of jury duty is easy. The trick is to say you're prejudiced against all races.

I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.