I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.

You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down

One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.

When you jump for joy, beware that no one moves the ground from beneath your feet.

Doughnuts. Is there anything they can't do?

At a formal dinner party, the person nearest death should always be seated closest to the bathroom.

I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.

I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.

If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.

You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.

Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.

You live but once; you might as well be amusing.

Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.

If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.