I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.

My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.

When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I'm astounded by people who want to 'know' the universe when it's hard enough to find your way around Chinatown.

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

It is better to be alone than in bad company.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.

If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.

There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.