I wrote the story myself. It's about a girl who lost her reputation and never missed it.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a fire exit.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.