My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
There's only one rule you need to remember: laugh at everything and forget everybody else! It sound egotistical, but it's actually the only cure for those suffering from self-pity
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
I'm sick of following my dreams. I'm just going to ask them where they're going and hook up with them later.
One thing you can't hide - is when you're crippled inside.
Hearing nuns' confessions is like being stoned to death with popcorn.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
No good deed goes unpunished.
You know that Pepperidge Farm bread, that stuff is fancy. That stuff is wrapped twice. You open it, and then still ain't open. That's why I don't buy it, I don't need another step between me and toast.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
Women are made to be loved not understood.
If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?