All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments
Men are as faithful as their options.
Sex is an emotion in motion.
Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. And the main reason women are crazy is that men are stupid.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.
To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks.
Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.
My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?