That which can be asserted without evidence, can be dismissed without evidence.

I have noticed that nothing I have never said ever did me any harm.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

A moral being is one who is capable of reflecting on his past actions and their motives - of approving of some and disapproving of others

Common sense is not so common.

Hope is like the sun, which, as we journey toward it, casts the shadow of our burden behind us.

I am not a saint, unless you think of a saint as a sinner who keeps on trying.

Some newspapers are fit only to line the bottom of bird cages.

I recommend that the Statue of Liberty be supplemented by a Statue of Responsibility on the west coast.

The future ain't what it used to be.

I don't do drugs, I am drugs

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

How vain it is to sit down to write when you have not stood up to live.

There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.

It is a good rule in life never to apologize. The right sort of people do not want apologies, and the wrong sort take a mean advantage of them.

Even if you are divine, you don't disdain male consorts.

One of the advantages of being disorderly is that one is constantly making exciting discoveries.

Rhyme, that enslaved queen, that supreme charm of our poetry, that creator of our meter.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

We are all worms, but I do believe that I am a glow-worm.

The bat thought I was giving him the kiss of life!