Sex is an emotion in motion.

There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.

If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.

No good deed goes unpunished.

I love great music and art, but I think 'cubist' songs and paintings are hideous.

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.

I awoke one morning and found myself famous.

The best liar is he who makes the smallest amount of lying go the longest way.

Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.

When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.

Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.

You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.

I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.

Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.

If a black cat crosses your path, it signifies that the animal is going somewhere.