My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

What do we need a psychiatrist for? We know our kid is nuts.

Right now Im having amnesia and dj vu at the same time. I think Ive forgotten this before.

I'm single because I was born that way.

I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.

Always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.

No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.

Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.

May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.

Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.

Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.

We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.

Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

I don't want to go to heaven. None of my friends are there.

It's nice to have a lot of money, but you know, you don't want to keep it around forever. I prefer buying things. Otherwise, it's a little like saving sex for your old age.

He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.

I've learned one thing: you can only really get to know a person after a row. Only then can you judge their true character!

A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.

If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?

There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.