I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.

The length of a film should be directly related to the endurance of the human bladder.

Life's but short. You might as well be amusing.

Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.

A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money

Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.

I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.

The best thing about the future is that it comes one day at a time.

I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.

It's not worth doing something unless you were doing something that someone, somewhere, would much rather you weren't doing.

Above all, if what you've done is stupid, but it works, it ain't stupid.

My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.

Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.

When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.

I recently took up ice sculpting. Last night I made an ice cube. This morning I made 12, I was prolific.

Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.

I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?

It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.

Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.

I always keep some whiskey handy in case I see a snake...which I also keep handy.