God gave men both a penis and a brain, but unfortunately not enough blood supply to run both at the same time.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
If you don't read the newspaper, you're uninformed. If you read the newspaper, you're mis-informed.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
A severed foot is the ultimate stocking stuffer.
Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.
There is a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore like an idiot.
When I was in school the teachers told me practice makes perfect; then they told me nobodys perfect so I stopped practicing.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
What do I wear in bed? Why, Chanel No. 5, of course.
You could talk about same-sex marriage, but people who have been married (say) 'It's the same sex all the time.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.