I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men.
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.
No doubt exists that all women are crazy; it's only a question of degree.
I have left orders to be awakened at any time during national emergency, even if I'm in a cabinet meeting.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
The truly free man is the one who can turn down an invitation to dinner without giving an excuse.
You can't produce a baby in one month by getting nine women pregnant.
Always laugh when you can. It is cheap medicine.
As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
Only a woman can make you feel wrong for doing something right.
To truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time.
My doctor told me to stop having intimate dinners for four. Unless there are three other people.
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
There are some people that you cannot change, you must either swallow them whole or leave them alone.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.