When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
My God. We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
When will I learn? The answer to life's problems aren't at the bottom of a bottle, they're on TV!
Be careful about reading health books. You may die of a misprint.
Organizing is what you do before you do something, so that when you do it, it's not all mixed up.
Only dumb people try to impress smart people. Smart people just do what they do.
It is better to be alone than in bad company.
Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they're on the same side.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
I think God, in creating man, somewhat overestimated his ability.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
Waffles are like pancakes with syrup traps
My life has been full of terrible misfortunes, most of which never happened.
You'll never find a rainbow if you're looking down
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
If you tell people you talk to God, they'll think you're religious, but if you say God talks to you, it's ten to one they'll think you're crazy.