Itís a terrible thing to appear on television Ė because people think you actually know what youíre talking about!
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I'm no model lady. A model's just an imitation of the real thing.
Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.
We are all here for a spell, get all the good laughs you can.
An intellectual is a person who has discovered something more interesting than sex.
He's very clever, but sometimes his brains go to his head.
Every time I go and shave, I assume there's someone else on the planet shaving. So I say, 'I'm gonna go shave, too.'
The depressing thing about tennis is that no matter how good I get, I'll never be as good as a wall.
Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again.
I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
I dont know where I am going, but I am on my way.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.