Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
All women become like their mothers. That is their tragedy. No man does, and that is his.
If I play a stupid girl and ask a stupid question, I've got to follow it through, what am I supposed to do, look intelligent?
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money
Ill put off readingLolitafor six more years until she turns 18.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I live in a neighbourhood so bad that you can get shot while getting shot.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
A doctor can bury his mistakes, but an architect can only advise his clients to plant vines.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
I know a lot about cars, man. I can look at any car's headlights and tell you exactly which way it's coming.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
Be modest! It is the kind of pride least likely to offend.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
No good deed goes unpunished.
In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.
All discarded lovers should be given a second chance, but with somebody else.
I was reading the dictionary. I thought it was a poem about everything.