Name the greatest of all inventors. Accident.
We are all born sexual creatures,thank God, but it's a pity so many people despise and crush this natural gift.
Man is a clever animal who behaves like an imbecile.
Practice makes perfect, but nobody's perfect, so why practice?
And she's got brains enough for two, which is the exact quantity the girl who marries you will need.
Never tell your problems to anyone...20% don't care and the other 80% are glad you have them.
I used to think anyone doing anything weird was weird. Now I know that it is the people that call others weird that are weird.
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didnt know.
Take me or leave me; or, as is the usual order of things, both.
Take me down to the bar! We'll drink breakfast together!
I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes!
I've always believed in the adage that the secret of eternal youth is arrested development.
I'm not crazy about reality, but it's still the only place to get a decent meal.
I'm writing an unauthorized autobiography.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
But who prays for Satan? Who, in eighteen centuries, has had the common humanity to pray for the one sinner that needed it most?
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
I never travel without my diary. One must always have something sensational to read on the train.
Only in our dreams are we free. The rest of the time we need wages.
I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.