Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
It ain't what they call you, it's what you answer to.
A smile is the best way to get away with trouble even if it's a fake one.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda.
If your dog is going to suffer from diarrhea, it will happen between the time the carpet is cleaned for the holidays and the last holiday get-together.
I put instant coffee in a microwave oven and almost went back in time.
If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
A sense of humour is great - it goes a long, long way in a marriage.
Humor is the most engaging cowardice.
If at first you don't succeed then skydiving definitely isn't for you.
I'm sure the universe is full of intelligent life. It's just been too intelligent to come here.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
Ah, the patter of little feet around the house. There's nothing like having a midget for a butler.
Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?
I cook with wine, sometimes I even add it to the food.
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you'll become happy; if you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.
I'm sorry this letter is so long, I didn't have time to make it shorter.