I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
Anyone who makes up their mind about an issue before they hear the issue is a fool.
Imagine being killed by a bow and arrow. That would suck, an arrow killed you? They would never solve the crime. 'Look at that dead guy. Let's go that way.
You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be lead.
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
I've been on a calendar, but never on time.
It costs a lot of money to look this cheap.
Every book is a children's book if the kid can read!
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I didn't fail the test, I just found 100 ways to do it wrong.
When I was kidnapped, my parents snapped into action. They rented out my room.
If you cannot get rid of the family skeleton, you may as well make it dance.
Well, if she was dumb enough to marry you, she'll believe anything.
You live but once; you might as well be amusing.
There are only two types of women: goddesses and doormats.
What a fine weather today! Can't choose whether to drink tea or to hang myself.
I would never die for my beliefs because I might be wrong.
Fell in love with a beautiful blonde once. Drove me to drink. And I never had the decency to thank her.
If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.
It's a good thing I was born a girl, otherwise I'd be a drag queen.
The easy confidence with which I know another man's religion is folly teaches me to suspect that my own is also.