I never drink water because of the disgusting things that fish do in it.
I like to play blackjack. I'm not addicted to gambling. I'm addicted to sitting in a semi-circle.
I don't get high, but sometimes I wish I did. That way, when I messed up in life I would have an excuse. But right now there's no rehab for stupidity.
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
I don't pray really, because I don't want to bore God.
There is nothing in the world so irresistibly contagious as laughter and good humor.
You can't get spoiled if you do your own ironing.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left.
I awoke one morning and found myself famous.
Animals are my friends...and I don't eat my friends.
If you haven't got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.
He has a brilliant mind until he makes it up.
I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.
I never worry about diets. The only carrots that interest me are the number you get in a diamond.
I can't do the same thing every night, the same gestures... it's like putting on dirty panties every day.
Don't look at me in that tone of voice.
I've heard that hard work never killed anyone, but I say why take the chance?
I believe that every human has a finite amount of heartbeats. I don't intend to waste any of mine running around doing exercises.
I got a king-sized bed. I don't know any kings, but if one came over, I guess he'd be comfortable.
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
Actors search for rejection. If they don't get it they reject themselves.