Religion is like a knife: you can either use it to cut bread, or stick in someone's back.

Charity ... is the opium of the privileged.

Patriotism is the last refuge of a scoundrel.

I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.

If you've got them by the balls their hearts and minds will follow.

It's sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.

Freedom lies in being bold.

The secret of being a bore is to tell everything.

I hope I shall possess firmness and virtue enough to maintain what I consider the most enviable of all titles, the character of an honest man.

For the meaning of life differs from man to man, from day to day and from hour to hour. What matters, therefore, is not the meaning of life in general but rather the specific meaning of a person's life at a given moment.

Self-pity is our worst enemy and if we yield to it, we can never do anything wise in this world.

His modesty amounts to deformity.

Sell your cleverness and buy bewilderment.

Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

The Declaration of Independence I always considered as a theatrical show. Jefferson ran away with all the stage effect of that... and all the glory of it.

There is no terror in the bang, only in the anticipation of it.

The bat thought I was giving him the kiss of life!

I got rabies shots for biting the head off a bat but that`s OK - the bat had to get Ozzy shots.

Be that self which one truly is.

At the bottom of enmity between strangers lies indifference.

The traditional ways were wrongly disowned by Christianity - in hindsight, medicine men were not demons but very important counsellors in the community.